Feedback of Character and Story

Feedback from my Tutor:
I talked to my tutor about my character and she said that he was a little too realistic and could be a lot more interesting if he was stylized more. We decided to go back and use one of my original designs I created earlier in the process. 

We decided the middle Doberman was the best option. He is my final design.

Feedback on my Story Line and Changes made:
My original Story: Based off the cliche saying "Don't judge a book by it's cover."

• Close up of the Dobermans eye
• Close up of mouth while it barks 
• The dog starts running in slow motion (the audience starts to wonder what this dog is up to -starts to get a little worried)
• Jumps into the air
• Catches a ball (back to normal speed)
• Trots with the ball happily
• Drops the ball and lays down next to it happily
• Quote

My original idea was to have the audience slightly suspicious of this dog as it is commonly thought of as an aggressive or strong dog. Then we are shown that he is a lovely dog who is just playing. Because it is an SPCA dog, its guaranteed to be family friendly.

Feedback from the Tutor and changes made:
The SPCA has given us a line to work with "You don't have to adopt us to help us." Although we don't have to absolutely work with this line, it is recommended that we do. So we decided that we can combine both ideas together. 

New Idea: You can really help an animal and make them happy just by playing and volunteering to help them.  

• Close up of eye at the start, blinks
• Close up of mouth, pans out to view whole dog face, dog barks
• Dog starts running with excitement (slow motion)
• Jumps (we don't see ball yet)
• Catches ball in their mouth (normal speed again)
• Happily trots over
• Pounces down playfully and refuses to give ball up
• Sits (straight posture)
• Drops ball
• Watches it bounce
• Looks side to side
• Quote (not sure if written or voice over yet)